When a man steals your wife, there is no better revenge, than to let him keep her.
King David
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After marriage, husband and wife become two sides of a coin; they just can’t face each other, but still they stay together.
Sasha Guitry
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By all means marry. If you get a good wife, you’ll be happy. If you get a bad one, you’ll become a philosopher.
Socrates
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Woman inspires us to great things, and prevents us from achieving them.
Anonymous
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The great question, which I have not been able to answer… is, “What does a woman want?”
Dumas
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I had some words with my wife, and she had some paragraphs with me.
Sigmund Freud
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‘Some people ask the secret of our long marriage. We take time to go to a restaurant two times a week. A little candlelight, dinner, soft music and dancing. She goes Tuesdays, I go Fridays.’
Red Skelton
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‘There’s a way of transferring funds that is even faster than electronic banking. It’s called marriage.’
Sam Kinison
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‘I’ve had bad luck with both my wives.
The first one left me, and the second one didn’t.’
James Holt McGavra
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Two secrets to keep your marriage brimming.
1. Whenever you’re wrong, admit it,
2. Whenever you’re right, shut up.
Patrick Murray
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The most effective way to remember your wife’s birthday is to forget it once….
Nash
You know what I did before I married?
Anything I wanted to.
Anonymous
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My wife and I were happy for twenty years.
Then we met.
Henny Youngman
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A good wife always forgives her husband when she’s wrong.
Rodney Dangerfield
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A man inserted an ‘ad’ in the classifieds: ‘Wife wanted’. Next day he received a hundred letters.
They all said the same thing: ‘You can have mine.’
Anonymous
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First Guy (proudly): ‘My wife’s an angel!’
Second Guy : ‘You’re lucky, mine’s still alive.’ Anonymous
